Struggling - Long Post

I'm struggling and I am having such a hard time getting shit back together since I got back. I am having a real hard time getting back to reality, back to my eating habits, and back to moving my ass.

You know tomorrow I would have completed my 2 week challenge if I would of stuck with it. I probably would of also lost at least 3 pounds. Which is all I gained during my vacation. Now I feel like I am starting over. I have gained almost all of my 10 pounds back. I feel like I am failing. I don't want to fail myself again.

I quit curves, canceled my membership. (they said I can go back without the enrollment fee if I go back within one year) I canceled for several reasons

1) I was having a real hard time completing the circuit 2 times, I'm so out of shape that I feel ike I didn't let my body build up to 30 minutes of constant moving.

2) I really don't like socializing while I am working out and since I'm like the only one in there during the times when I can go the employees and owner feel the need to talk to me the whole time and it makes me really unconformable.

My eating habits have become disgusting again. the other day we went to Fresh Choice and I ate enough for 2 people. I felt like crap afterwards. I just wanted to lay down.

I keep giving myself challenges and I keep letting myself down.

I haven't been blogging becuase I am ashamed of myself, I am ashamed to let other people see that I am struggling.

This post is for me to come to grips with this hurdle and not be ashamed of struggling becuase I am sure a lot of you have been through this. I need to go back and catch up on all of your blogs. When I read about everyones success and hurdles it brings me motivation.

I am so angry with myself.

I looked in the mirror last night and told myself out loud that I wasn't going to give up. I kept repeating it over and over again.

"I'm not going to give up."

I'm not.

I can't.

2 week challenges are not working for me. I am going to start small. I am going to try for 1 week.
Since I am not going to curves anymore (for the time being) I will need to find another way to move my body and work on getting my stamina up.

Yesterday I walked to pick my daughter up from school. It is right across the street, but instead of walking back the way I came I went all the way down the road to the stop light, crossed, and then walked home.

I felt good afterwards!

Today I ran for 10 minutes on my elliptical which turned out to be 1.2 miles.

I feel good!

My new updated challenge will be -

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday -

walk the long way home

Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday

10 minutes on the elliptical

Drink as much water as I can

Watch what I put in my mouth and stick to my previous plan


After this week I will do it gain next week.

Maybe a week at a time might be less pressure for me.

Any kinds words, tips, tricks, or ideas I would love to hear!

I am proud of myself for deciding not to give up.
I am proud of myself for moving my body the past two days.

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I promised a slide show of my Vegas trip and here it is!



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Freebie information!

While on my hiatus from my blog I received -

1) Coromega - Omega-3 Dietary Supplement which was disgusting
2) Pantene Color Expression - very nice!
3) Beyond Bodi Heat - I am going to use tonight
4) Folgers Gourmet Selections (promotion ended) - I don't drink coffee but my husband does so I'll let you know what he thinks when he tries it.
5) Bausch & Lomb Wear and Care Program Kit - Which was 12 contact lens cases and a full size eye wetting drops!

I want to continue doing the freebies but I want to know if anyone has been signing up for them. Please let me know.

!Freebies!

L'Oreal Vive Nutri Gloss Shampoo, Conditioner, and Treatment

Nicorette Cinnamon Surge 20 Piece Gum Sample
You need to watch a short video about the gum first

Garnier Skin Care Sample

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Ok so I think I am back!

I am going to weigh myself weekly on Wednesday (tomorrow)

I am going to Blog, I feel better when I do

I am going to read your blogs, I feel better when I do that to

I am going to revive myself from the dead and start losing weight again

I am going to stick to this 1 week challenge that I started yesterday

I am going to stick with the look great in 2008 challenge

My first mini goal is to get that 10 pound weight loss headstone back on my blog
(I'll know how much I need to lose to get to that goal tomorrow moring)

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Ok I am off to catch up on all of my favorite blogs, this should take awhile!