I'm pretty depressed right now. I'm still hovering around the same weight 227-228. This weight is not coming off no matter how well I was sticking to Weight Watchers and how much I was working out. I also have not lost inches. My clothes still fit the same. I posted earlier about how I needed to watch my carbs. I think carbs are holding me back. Before I got married in 2004 I did the Atkins diet and lost about 40lbs. It was very hard especially the first month. I wanted to do weight watchers because I wouldn't need to completely cut anything out of my diet. Well I just don't think my body likes Weight Watchers and I am going to try to do the Atkins program. I don't plan on buying any books or buying any memberships. Actually right on the Atkins site is complete instructions on how to follow their induction, which I suppose I will need to be on for awhile.

This is my 3rd day with the low carb thing. I'm not going to weigh myself for at least 2 weeks. It is just depressing when I do. I will continue to work out at Planet Fitness because I feel great when I do and I love that gym.

I don't even feel like doing anything except for working, gardening, and reading. I might take the next 2 weeks off of blogging and hopefully come back with a sweet update. I'm not ready to fail myself yet again and I need to keep plugging along. Scratch that I HAVE to keep plugging along. When I look in the mirror I just see a real sad person who doesn't feel comfortable leaving the house, getting dressed, or pretty much doing anything. I hate feeling like I'm just there, alive but not living and it sucks.

So watching my calories and fat is not working for me, now I'm going to switch to watching my carbs.

: (


Scale Check

It's been a little bit since I posted. Sorry I've been pretty bust lately.

So heres where I am at

Ok it budged. a little. And I still haven't lost those first 10 pounds yet. Thats frustrating, but hopefully I won't be stuck for awhile.

I took a few days off the gym and I took a few days off from counting calories. I am hoping that going back on plan and starting the gym again will kick start something in my body.
I really really need to watch my carbs.
My water intake has been great and its been really hot here so thats been helping me keep my water intake up.

After taking a few days off from the gym it felt so good to go back.
I alternate days with the treadmill and the elliptical for my cardio, I do two different ab machines everyday and I alternate working on my upper body one day and my lower body the next.

My dad has lost a total of 20 pounds now. While I am frustrated that I'm hovering around 227 and 226, I am very happy for him!

Thats all for now. I need to get some sleep.


Ok so I worked my butt off one day and got this section ready for my bulbs, so as soon as I get them I can plant them.

Heres the before:

This is after:

This was some work. I weed whacked awhile back and had to rake out all the old stuff and then pull all the weeds that we missed. I took 2 rose bushes out and planted my honeysuckle bush. I turned the soil and filled it in with 7 bags of topsoil.

So now its all ready to get filled with tons of bulbs. Bulbs do really well in my yard. The soil isn't the best but for some reason they do great.


Here are some projects that I am going to work on during the summer.

I plan on raking this out and covering in it plastic then covering that with bark, maybe or some topsoil. The dirt here is the worst ever. Its like digging into a rock. I don't have many creative ideas for this section of my yard. Maybe you do? I'm leaving the trees and bushes in, I like those.

This sits in the shade almost all of the day. I just need to clear this section out, turn the soil and add some topsoil to get it ready. I plan on doing fall bulbs in here.

This is shade all day. I'm going to do this is the fall with some more fall bulbs and I'd like to plant a vine of some sort here to climb up the side of the house. And theres the back door into my bedroom. This small patios area is pretty private. There is a deck with the sliding glass door into the living room but we don't really use it that much. So its our own little patio. Id like to add a bistro set for me and my husband.

These are the stairs to the deck. This is also party of our patio. Half the day this is sun and half its shade. I have a huge Idea for here but I won't get to it probably until Spring of next year :(
I'm going to make a long pond in that whole area with a waterfall. Where the stepping stones are there is going to be a bridge over the pond. I plan on having water lilies, and ferns and a lot of green and rocks. We won't be using a preformed pond liner, we are going to do it from scratch! I wish I had the money now becuase then this would be my number 1 priority in the backyard.

So those are my backyard projects. Lots to do over this summer to keep me busy and active. Its funny becuase I really despised yard work less than a year ago. In my quest to not sit in front of the couch all day I have learned that I really enjoy it. I like feeling accomplished after I finish a section and then I get to see my progress bloom into beautiful flowers.


New Layout!

Two post in one day!

Like my new layout?

I made it myself!!

I was getting tired of looking at the same layout all the time.


Oh my!

If you Google Diet Journal I'm on the first page on the bottom. Whoa! Thats pretty cool!


Tomorrow is a rest day for me. Hopefully it will be sunny out. I like to work in the backyard when I don't go to the gym. I don't really have to much to do back there until my bulbs come. I have a few Lily of the Valley roots that I am going to plant and and some more rocks to gather, but thats about it until I get my order.

I didn't have time to take an after picture of this section I worked on the other day but I will do it tomorrow.


Not much going on today.
I had a good food day though!


Freebies! (Since I don't have too much to write about)

Garnier Ultra Lift Pro-X

Aveda Green Science Lifting Serum

Lubriderm Daily Moisture with SPF 15 Lotion





Yup. I'm still here at 227.

My eating habits have been pretty good. I have been staying on points. I have had a few slip ups but nothing extreme.

I have been working my butt off at the gym at least 4 days a week
I do 20 Minutes on the Elliptical
I do 25 minutes on the treadmill half that time I am doing an uphill walk.
5 minutes of cool down walking
Then weights
Abs everyday
Alternating days between legs/butt and Arms/chest/back

I feel good.

My weight is the same.

I'll keep chugging along.


I've been really busy in my backyard and I'll post a before and after picture of this section I have been working on tomorrow.

I'm waiting for my bulbs to arrive so I can plant them.

This is what I ordered for Spring planting. Its funny I am already starting to think about what to buy for fall hehe.

6 Stargazer Lilies (my all time favorite)

15 Mexican Shell Flowers

20 Hardy Gladiolas

15 Mixed Tall Dutch Iris

20 Triplet Lily

24 Mixed Freesia

Total with shipping only 31.00!!

I got these FREE!

20 Glory Glads

5 Exotica Bulbs

4 Flowering Shamrocks

I love this site, They have a 1 cent sale
So my Hardy Gladiolas were 10 for $3.50 I got 20 for $3.51

That Rocks

Heres a link

Free gift with every purchase!

Yes I become an affiliate
(More of me raving about this site)....
They have a guarentee for 1 year, if it doesn't live they will replace it.
They have the best prices I have seen while shopping for bulbs and flowers.
Free Gifts with every order + you earn free gifts the more you purchase.
1 Shipping and processing price no matter how big your order is.

(ok ok I'll stop)

I can't wait to plant more plants!
My backyard is going to rock!

I'm still here

I'll be back tomorrow, I have been really busy these past couple of days. :)


What Happened?

It was so hot out last week and over the weekend and this week is has be really windy, warm but windy. It was so windy that my umbrella and my honeysuckle tree blew over.

On the plus side I get to listen to my wind chime!

I haven't been out in my garden this whole week so far except to water. I really need to bust my butt this weekend.


I took a rest day from the gym on Wednesday my stomach was so soar. I think I did to many reps on the ab machine. I'll be back today though. My dad is working so he won't go at the same time I do. I haven't been there without him yet, so I really need to go. Mainly to prove to myself that I am committed.


I have a question for everyone:

What kind of butter substitute (margarine) do you use?
If you don't use a margarine what do you use?

I've tried a few kinds but it still seems not worth it points wise. I need some suggestions.


I found some good Freebies for the garden!

Free Tree Seeds from Planting America

To get free tree seeds you need to live in the zone where the tree that you pick does best, I couldn't get some seeds but maybe you can!

Agrimarks Plant Markers

Best Organic Fertilizer Sample



Thank you all so much for your supportive comments on my last post.

My scale read 228 this morning so thats +1. Hey at least I lost that other 1lb. that I gained.

I do have a extremely supportive husband. Hes a keeper haha. Hes not only supportive of my weight loss journey he's supportive in this relationship period. My friends get tired of me raving sometimes because their boyfriends/husbands are asses.

Heres a recent example of how much he does for me

I have a newspaper route, I've had it for over 1 year. I'm an independent contractor and I work 7 days a week. I pick my own hours. I can come in anywhere from 2:30am - 4:30am and it takes me 2 hours to do my job (the pay and time with my family is totally worth it). It really breaks up my sleep though and 7 days a week wears on you sometimes.
Anyway, His hours have been cut short for the month of May (thank God they go back to normal in June) He works at night and he has been working from 10pm-2am. Well he's been getting off of work and then doing my route for me so I can get some sleep and have a break. Hes a wonderful man.

Thats another good thing about my job, anyone can do it for me as long as it gets done with minimal complaints. So I have a sub and when I want to go on vacation I just check with them and I can go!


Ramble Ramble Ramble...


Ok my garden! Yay! It still needs some work but heres the little flower garden I started. I have to gather up some more rocks to finish the border and I want to fill it in a little bit more with some more flowers and border the rocks with some small flowers. But here it is so far. You can click on the picture to see a HUGE blown up version of it for more detail.

Here is my next project in my yard. I need to rake out the dead grass and weed the I weed whacked. Then I need put a trellis against the house and dig a big hole for the Honeysuckle plant that I bought. Then in the rest of the space I have a lot of bulbs that I am going to plant. I need to get a move on becuase its getting late in the year for these bulbs.

Heres the Honeysuckle plant I bought at the Flea Market for $12. Yup $12 for that big plant. It was a kick ass find!

This is the garden in front of my daughter bedroom window. Theres a rose bush there that hasn't bloomed yet and you can see some of the bulbs I planted are starting to grow above the soil.

Thats it so far. My yard is huge HUGE. I'll take some more pictures next week of the projects that I have left. There is so many areas that need to be dealt with. I have all summer to do it. It is exciting that I am getting into working on my yard. I feel really accomplished and focused.



Ambi Skincare Sample and Coupon




The other day I almost got discouraged. I did it to myself though. I weighed myself and I was up 2 pounds. Grrr. I was really mad when I saw that becuase I have been working my butt off, running, lifting weights, and walking. I also haven't been sitting on the couch. I have been gardening, cleaning, and trying to keep myself busy so I don't get bored and eat. I am also trying to not be such a lazy person. I have also been doing really good on WW.

I was so mad. My husband calmed me down and told me it could be water or it could be a few other things and to not let it faze me. He told me he can already see a small difference in my face and that I need to keep going because if I don't I will be disappointed in the long run. I know I will to.
I shouldn't of even got on the scale it wasn't my day to check. I was supposed to check yesterday but I always forget over the weekend so I am going to start checking on Tuesdays like I did last week.


I have been kicking butt with my water intake!


I am almost done with my little flower garden and I'll post pictures of it tomorrow if I get a chance. I just have to add a few more flowers and rocks for it to be complete.
Yesterday when my husband took our daughter to the movies I worked a full 2 hours (nonstop) in my garden digging holes, planting plants, and moving rocks around for the border. I checked the WW activity points thing. It said on light activity (I picked light even though I was sweating my butt off) I would earn 6 points. WOW. I didn't eat one of them though. Yay me!



Dove Hair Care


I'm really getting into flowers and gardens and spring right now. hehe.


Thank you everyone for all the kind words and motivation!!

It is HOT. 101 yesterday. It said it was supposed to be 98 but it was hotter. I still went to the gym, yay me, but I didn't get my walk in, it was just too hot with no breeze. If there was a breeze I would of went.

Last night I slept with wet hand towels all over my body with the fan right on me full blast. It was a sight to be seen. No I won't take pictures of that haha.

I usually go to the gym at this time 11:00 am but I don't have my car. I will be forced to go late this night at 9:00 pm when its not so busy. Grrr. I need to make myself go.

I also can't work in my garden when its this hot, which pisses me off because I have a whole area that needs to be raked, turned, and filled with topsoil before I can plant these 50+ bulbs. If it cools down by 7 I'll start the raking.


I want to start my freebie thing again so here ya go

Neutrogena Acne Stress Control Scrub


My dad has lost a total of 14 lbs. Since starting the gym a little over a month ago. He was at 334 and how he is at 319. I'm so proud of him!! Go Dad!



Working Out

I am getting into the routine. I had fun at the gym today. My dad and I walked on the Treadmill for 30 minutes and then we did some machines for our legs arms and abs. I was there for about an hour. Tomorrow we are going to try their 30 minute express workout (kinda like curves but more intense) and then walk for 30 minutes.

It was so hot today, 91, tomorrow it is supposed to be 98. Blech. I can't garden when its that hot becuase the sun really makes my skin breakout (I have Discoid Lupus). Instead I was lazy on the couch all day until around 7 then I hopped in the pool for about 1/2 and hour.

It started getting nice and cool out so my and my daughter went for our 1.5 miles walk, then when we got home we did some crunches and sit ups. Exercising is really starting to feel good.

I'm proud of myself today!


Scale Check In


Yay! I'm down to 227.0 I lost 3 pounds this week.
That feels good.

Oh also the other night while looking for Weight Watchers recipes I found this blog:
Weight Watchers Recipes

So lat night I made this 2 point fudge. OH MY!! It was so good. It didn't taste like 2 points at all.
Heres the link for the fudge
Chocolate Marshmallow Fudge


I'm Forgetful

I forgot to weight myself on Sunday and today so I am going to do it tomorrow morning.

I've been doing pretty good. Keeping within my points I've had small slip ups here and there and then Mother's Day was shot from the beginning. Thats ok I did really good today and I have all my meals planned out for the week and all my shopping done. There also isn't any temptation in my house which helps A LOT. So I haven't been snacking all day long.

I have taken up gardening so during the days I've been busy in the backyard planting, raking, sweeping... So not only has that kept me from sitting on the couch and being bored and eating all day, its also been burning some calories! Yay!

I'm still trying to get in the groove of working out. My dad has been really good about it, he lives about 10 miles away and has been good about going to the gym 5 days a week. Hes been going for the past month now and he convinced me to join.
So today I joined Planet Fitness. I felt awesome after my workout and decided this is how I am going to get my exercise in.
I loved it. I thought I would feel weird but I didn't. I had my routine all set up for the week with walking, doing some DVD workouts and running but I like this way better.

I'll update with the scale results tomorrow.



I was going to delete my blog and start all over, but than I decided to keep it becuase it's not like all the stuff I wrote about never happened. I read through all my old posts and realized how motivated I was to lose weight, stop stuffing my face, exercise.....Then poof, I lost it, for 6 damn months.
The last time I blogged I was done to 209, OMG 209. So in 6 months I have gained 26 pounds. Thats a little over 4 pounds a month. Sheesh.


So before I was taking Alli and just watching my fat intake. Even though I was losing I was not eating that great. So I decided to go back to Weight Watches. This will be my fourth time on Weight Watchers.
I don't fail becuase I have a hard time doing WW. I actually feel it's an easy plan to stick to without being starving. I fail becuase I have no self control. I have a real hard time controlling myself during vacations, holidays, parties, and when I eat out.
Then after I stuff my face the next day I say F*** it.

5 weeks ago I started walking with 2 friends their kids, and my daughter (who is becoming overweight)
We starting walking 1 mile, then 1.5 miles, then 2 miles. I was still eating crappy though. I also starting running on my elliptical. I starting weighing myself every week to see if just exercising would be enough.

It wasn't.

It wasn't touching my 2000+ calories a day.

I need more structure.

So here I go again.

I hope to get some of my readers back.
I would like to keep blogging the way I was before.

I have to keep in mind that I'm not failing just myself anymore, my daughter is at risk right now for becoming an obese child.

Why is this so hard?


I got really lost...like bad. I always do this to myself. Grrr. I'm starting, yet again. I started Weight Watchers at home 2 weeks ago. I have lost 5lbs since then. I'm sooo tired of starting over. Tired of kicking myself in the ass. I'm tired of thinking, hey if I would of kept going I could have been 30 pounds less right now.

Well I'm back. Hopefully some people missed me. :)